john's mom works

if you've come for witty reparte or a good old fashioned poop story, today is not your day. if you've come to witness me using words as catharsis, you're in luck. tonight was one of my least favorite nights of my life. it climaxes (nadirs) with this scene: john, red-faced and screaming "i don't want you, mommy!" over and over. charlie in his wrap, muffledly crying as he buries his face in my shoulder. me, nearly hysterical, yelling god-knows-what (i truly don't) through sobs and tears. * * * how did we get there? not all at once, of course. in dribs and drabs of bad behavior meets inappropriate response with a mix of too-tired thrown in for good measure. we've been struggling, my husband and i, to help john through a very difficult time. best I can tell it's a culmination of a year of change that was enough to leave my grownup head spinning - and i chose most of that change, unlike john. john's been acting out at home and at school...

left: why we lowered the crib mattress right: the best happy meal price EVAH disclaimer: if you are poop-averse, you might want to keep on scrolling by. i won't share any gross pics or extreme details, but this is a baby bowel movement story. if you can't find the humor in those, i'll be funnier next time, i promise. this morning, i was running late. (surprise!) but like, REALLY late. we've been struggling a lot with some of john's behavior lately (more on that another day), which requires some extra time and energy and intentionality in our day, and mornings are always a little on the rough side, timing wise. add to that the simple fact that i slept too late and we were not set up for success! however, we got through with no major disasters. we were late, but just about ready - john was dressed, charlie had been fed and dressed and was happily playing in his crib while i put on my shoes, brushed my teeth, and collected the last few odds and ends....