john's mom works

a little backyard chaos and shenanigans i will forever remember this summer as a time of shifting sibling dynamics. john and charlie have always alternated between playing beautifully together and beating the snot out of each other -- pretty standard fare for brothers, from what i understand. they are each others' best friend and arch nemesis, rolled up into one jack-and-jill-bathroom-sharing package. it's made for amazing times when they create and build and explore and entertain each other. it's made for challenging times when they get under each others' skin, antagonize and bully one another, and scream. man, can those kids scream. when bean first arrived, of course, not much changed. if anything, the bigs got closer. they got good at occupying each other when the baby needed "too much" attention. the flare ups didn't stop, of course, but i wouldn't have expected them to. but now at two, bean is a real person with real ideas and real ima...

dear bean, when your daddy and i found out we were going to have another baby, we were pretty scared. we didn't know how to be parents to three chaos monkeys and didn't know what our family would look like with a new babe. it turns out we didn't have a thing to worry about, little one. from the moment you arrived you've been the happiest baby i've ever met. just like your brothers, you charm the people around you and endear yourself to everyone. when we came home from the birth center that night, john and charlie fell in love and immediately wanted to hold you and love you. you fit perfectly into a bean-shaped gap we didn't even know our family had. you've brought smiles and laughs to every member of your family every one of these past 365 days. even when you feel icky, like today on your birthday, your dear spirit shines through and you bring such light into the world. your daddy and i  are really grateful that god knew we needed you. your oldest...

or, how to ring out the old year when you're an ornery two year old 3:42 a.m. wailing from upstairs wakes me from a dead sleep. it's the big bad kind of crying, where you just know someone needs you. i head up the stairs in a groggy daze, softly calling "hey, charlie, mama's coming," as he howls for his mommy. his voice sounds oddly close considering the closed door to his room. when i walk into his room, though, he's not there. the door to the bathroom between john and charlie's rooms is open, as is the door to john's room beyond. i walk through, and there i find charlie on his knees in desperation in his brother's room. best i can tell, charlie woke up, and decided to get brother. but when he went to brother's room the bed was empty - because john was sleeping in the teepee across the room. devastated that he couldn't find brother, charlie just howled. john slept as i collected charlie, closed the appropriate doors, and...

pajamaed monkeys ham it up. it's friday. are you dancing yet? i'm dancing. not only is our whole family maybe finally getting over the various cruddy illnesses we have had for the past two weeks, but ... drumroll please ... john had another great day at kindergarten today. for those of you not keeping track as diligently as i am (which is, you know, like the whole world), that's SIX straight days of awesome. which is a NEW RECORD. and i'm dancing. i'm also dancing because of that little pup on the left in the pic up there. his conversations on the way to school in the morning make my day so much brighter. yesterday, he told me all the things he misses when he's at school: "i miss my couch. i miss my chair. i miss my elle belle." but then he paused. "i ... see my friends? see amy? see halle? see 'livia? i have GREAT day!" what a skill, to talk yourself out of an i-don't-wanna-leave-the-house funk. and today was...

swimming monkeys. i used to write. i wrote to document, for catharsis, to explore, to share. i wrote to remember. and then i stopped. today is just another day. but today, i am writing. this morning, charlie woke up chipper and silly. he made animal noises at me in his crib before he would let me get him up. he hid behind his blankie and giggled when i asked where he went. he snuggled me tight and shared his blankie with me when i picked him up. that is why i write. and in the car on the way to school, charlie sang a song about the sun. "sun sun sun sun sun" he sang. and then it was john's turn, and john sang a song about how when we see the sun, we know that god is here. god makes the sun rise and the sun set and we can see his face. that is why i write. and right now i am taking a brief break from my new work-from-home job, where i am crafting strategy and devising plans, and learning and pushing and growing. i feel a veil lifting as my creat...

i scored front row seats to this particular show. the other day it was pandora, playing my husband's "lightning crashes" station. (we met at a concert of the band 'live' a million years ago, in case you didn't know.)recently, one of john's very favorite activities is to have dance parties in our living room. sometimes we put on disney music, sometimes it's a cd, sometimes just the radio. a few good ol' rock songs from the late 90s played, all with some serious guitar licks, and john insisted that he wanted to find "his" guitar. he actually has two - an elmo one that lights up and plays sesame street songs, and an old "guitar hero" one that doesn't connect to anything but still rocks out - at least in john's head. so he gave the guitar hero one to daddy, and he grabbed the elmo one as his own, and charlie and i were treated to some fine guitar solos in the living room. until john kicked daddy off his st...

the letter "h"! sleepy buddha last night, john proved to me again what an awesome kid he is. he wanted to have a dance party in the living room and asked daddy to put on the radio. daddy did, to a pop/top 40 type station. i can't remember what song it was, but john said, "no, daddy, a rock and ROLL dance." so daddy changed. next station was a country song. "no, daddy. rock and ROLL!" finally, daddy landed on an alt rock station. "that's it daddy! rock and roll, rock and roll ..." (insert cute hip/butt wiggle here). what song had my kiddo rockin' and rollin'?  "under the bridge," by red hot chili peppers. that, friends, THAT, is my child. meantime charlie was sitting in his seat just smiling and laughing at big brother's antics. *  *  * and i needed that. i needed to be reminded how amazing my children are, because it was a rough afternoon before that. it started with a...

from now on, this is how we do ALL our gingerbread houses. i have been guilting myself for not blogging for weeks now. how was christmas? (charlie's first!) how was new years? how was thanksgiving, for that matter, and the visit with the family? how have i not managed to document all of these precious moments in our family's life? well, here's how: the mama in this house works. and if this blog is and always has been about the balancing act - the utter tightrope walk! - of being both a marketing professional and the best mom i can be, then my silence reflects the focus the past several weeks have required. but now ... knock on wood? ... it appears that we might be sliding into a routine. and now, maybe now, i can begin again to write down the struggles and joys we face. and when i am in doubt, i just look at this little face:  don't worry, mother, i am wise in ways you cannot comprehend.  and then i realize, it's all ok. a few months of bl...

'how much noise can i make with this here bell?' 'i may look cute and innocent. but you'll pry my pumpkin from my cold dead hands.' my heart in two bodies. i'm taking advantage of a double nap here - two boys snoozing in an otherwise quiet house equals some unfamiliar quiet time for this mommy. i probably ought to nap myself, right? but these pics ... these pics inspire me and i just had to write. (and a quick credit to our neighbor and friend - who i will only identify as m.l. because she hasn't agreed to let me write about her or her beautiful daughter b. - for taking these beautiful pics of my boys!) we had a great trick-or-treat night last night with m.l.'s family. b., who was dressed as cinderella, is only about six months older than john, so they enjoy playing together and had fun getting candy last night. we stopped by the firestation to visit our favorite firemen uncles and got some awesome pics of my little fireman w...

these looked so much better in my mind. dear peanut, it's 21 minutes into your third birthday, and i'm awake. i just finished making cupcakes for your class tomorrow. they're not as beautiful as i thought they might be but know i iced them all with extra love to make up for their imperfections. three years ago right now i wasn't sleeping either. i was up walking around the house, and i couldn't get comfortable. i had a feeling -- and i would prove to be right -- that you were letting me know that you were ready. you were ready to come into your daddy and my life: to change everything we knew, including ourselves and each other. as i was icing those cupcakes tonight, your baby brother was kicking around inside my belly. and i remember when you were kicking around in there, and we were just waiting to meet you. we loved you already, you see, but we had to meet you to understand how very much. now i can't wait for you to meet your baby brother with ...

a day that started out as silly hair day got  somewhat more interesting after school. today was silly hair day at school. because he is a rock star, john wore a mohawk - and wore it well, i might add. the view after school, was a little different. here is the story of how john met some firemen. when we ran out of school this afternoon, john climbed into his seat. he insisted on helping buckle himself, as usual, but it still took both my hands to get him strapped in and cinched down. realizing i had neglected to get the list of names of kids in his class, i told john, "i am going to run back inside real quick, i will be right back!" he said, "ok!" so i closed the door. and realized i left my key on the seat next to him when i buckled him up. i tried to open the door. it was locked. another parent was there with me, and i turned to her and said, "who do i call for something like this? the sherriff's office maybe?" as i ran ...

chocolate face? check. good music? check. sleeeeeeep eyes? check. today was one of those days that just felt like summer vacation. it could be because it was over 90 degrees for probably the first time this year.  but i prefer to think it is because of what an awesome family hanging-out day we had. we were up pretty early, but it was a snuggling kind of morning (my favorite kind) and my husband made us a delicious breakfast. eventually, we made it out to a local produce market that was having a "louisiana food festival" and tasted all sorts of delicious goodies (including the fudge that is smeared all over john's face in the picture above). there was a band playing great music, and john and i just sat and enjoyed it while my husband made our produce purchases. it was hot as blazes, so we stopped for a snowball on the way out. it was john's first-ever snowball, which is no major surprise, but somehow my husband had never had one either. (i know,...

just chillin' on the trike. i wouldn't be a self-respecting mother if i didn't do a little blog entry about mother's day weekend, right? that's what the latest polling shows! so here it is, the requisite mother's day blog. one of the coolest parts of the weekend was that it started so early - and that that's going to be the new normal for me at my new job. leaving the office at 11am on a friday felt like cheating. i felt like i was playing hooky all afternoon. i think i'll get used to the feeling pretty quick, but in the meantime, it's a little odd!  but my husband and i took advantage of the time since he's off by noon on fridays too. we went out for a celebratory new-job lunch and then we took naps. it was wonderful. then we went and got john, who wanted to ride his tricycle in the driveway - or more accurately, to sit on his tricycle in the driveway and talk to mommy and daddy, but that was fun too. after some hard playing ...

how did my first baby get to be this big? you might have seen our "announcement" earlier -- that this baby i'm baking right now is another little boy! we've actually known for a little while. when we got the blood tests back that told us about the blood type, the dna also said it was a boy. but we sort of just wanted a visual confirmation before we made it public ... and this morning, we got that confirmation at the specialist's office. a boy! a little brother for john. two boy puppies chasing us around the house in not to many years. i'll be outnumbered, for sure. even our dog is a boy. but you know what? i couldn't be happier. a house full of boys just makes my day. (not to mention the relief i know my husband feels -- he was sweating the possibility of a daughter to protect!) so my mom-in-law will have two pair: two sweet little girls from my husband's brother and his wife, and two dirty stinky boys from our family. and we'll have ...

captain undies insists on wearing not one but two pairs on his head. last night when we were heading towards bedtime for john, he suddenly became enamored with what had just come on the tv -- dancing with the stars. he immediately wanted to dance with daddy, asking, "where's my tutu, daddy? i need my tutu!" daddy convinced him no tutu was necessary, and they danced around the living room to the end of the current song. then i got a little spin around the room with my favorite little dancer, too. maybe the kiddo is psychic, because today we got some news worth dancing about! a little over a week ago, the maternal fetal specialist sent my blood off to a lab in wisconsin to do a test that is uncommon enough here in the u.s. that only one or two labs do it -- in fact, the hospital didn't even have the protocol for sending a sample to this lab, so they had to research it to figure out what to do, and i went back a couple days later to have the blood drawn. t...

i love a kid who, before his third birthday, recognizes that fridays are cause for dancing. this morning we put one of john's "toddler tunes" cds on and he was listening in the living room, but he got tired of it and brought me another cd - the "anxious dog music" cd we tried for buddy back at the height of his craziness. "mommy, i want to listen to DOG music!" said my gleeful little bug. so i put it in the cd player, and the twinkly "calming" piano started. and john said, "i want to dance, but i need my red tutu!" you know i am not a mom built to deny a boy his tutu. so pjs and tutu and all, we danced around the living room for a while. we did spins, and leaps, and bows. after a little while, i looked at the clock. "mama's gotta go get ready, my love," i said reluctantly. "we have to get you to school." he looked at me innocently and said, "i wear my tutu to school?" i talked him o...

had a little too much fun at the zoo. normally, i'd lead with a too-cute-to-stand picture of john instead of a face-screwed-up-fat-tears picture, but that pic sorta sums up my mood today so i'll run with it. i haven't written in so long because, frankly, there's just been a lot going on. last tuesday (a week ago yesterday) i went into work to be told that the new owner of the mall had eliminated my position. i had about 30 minutes to clean out my office and i was gone. i had sort of seen it coming -- in my interview with the new company a week before, the lady consistently referred to "whoever handles the marketing," which hardly inspired confidence that that would be me -- but i thought i'd have a little more time before they made any big changes.  so on a random tuesday morning, i found myself with a lot of free time on my hands. and surprisingly, i felt pretty ok about the whole thing. i am sad, sure, to leave a place that i've inves...

before and after haircut last saturday you may have found yourself asking, "where have you been, john's mom?" (if you really found yourself asking that, please please please find a hobby. we love you, but you need something to fill your time!) but where have we been? we've been juggling. last weekend john got a haircut - he was instantly transformed from rakish ragamuffin to dapper young lad, and altho he's cute as heck, i can't pretend i don't miss the mop a little bit. oh, well, it'll grow back quickly and he'll be a muss-headed tousled mess again. sunday afternoon, i picked john up out of his crib after nap and could immediately tell he was running a fever. (i always wondered how moms could tell that, and then i became a mom. it's like a super power you inherit with parenthood.) so ... monday i stayed home with john. he was mostly ok besides the fever, though i could see some red spots on his throat. he seemed a ...

john only wanted to read his "apple book" this morning. last night as john and i snuggled before he went to bed, he suddenly stopped wiggling long enough to look at me and say, "what's my address, mommy?" i laughed, actually. "what, baby?" "what's my address?" he repeated. and then he rattled off his address, perfectly. (with a sweet little southern drawl on the five and the word drive in our address, no less.) somewhat amazed, i asked him to repeat it. he did. so i called daddy in so john could tell him -- which he did, perfectly again. and even more than being proud of my little bug for learning his address, here is what i feel: so VERY grateful for john's teacher at the daycare. she told me this morning that john and one of his little friends in class are just sponges who absorb everything, so she cooks up new things to teach them. she teaches them things (like their addresses) that will help them in growing ...

the video of john trying to lock himself in buddy's crate is totally unrelated to today's post, but it was just too cute for me to leave off. i love the part where he says, "it's stuck!" but what i really want to talk about today is this: yesterday after i picked john up from daycare, i told him we had to go grocery shopping, but if he was really good and it was still light outside when we were done, we would stop by the park for a few minutes. he was ecstatic. so we drove along for a little while, looking out the window at a tractor or a truck or two and just hanging out. then, john said to me, "mommy, i want to hold the sun that i can fly." a little puzzled, i asked, "you want to fly, baby?" he said, "no, momma, i can't fly. so i can't hold the sun." (i realized i had misunderstood him the first time - he had said "but i can't fly" not "that i can fly.") "you want to hold the sun?...