john's mom works

exploring the doctor's stool while we wait for blood tests to come back. i try to maintain a pretty positive and, some might say, even pollyannaish perspective on our lives. nothing is gained by dwelling and festering, right? but i can say without equivocation that last week sucked. charlie came home monday afternoon with a high fever. he's my fever baby - if he's going to bother getting one, it's going to hit 103+ - so i wasn't too alarmed. rest and fever reducer and he'd be fine. but then tuesday he broke out in crazy hives. so my husband and his mom (who happened to be visiting) brought him to the doctor just in case. viral fever with rash was the diagnosis. ok, treat the symptoms, care for the cranky babe, he'll be fine. wednesday morning the hives were much worse - covering probably 60% of his body. i called the nurse. we discussed, and agreed that as long as there was no swelling around the mouth and no breathing issues we'd just kee...

"i'm five years old!" hey my birthday bug! i can't believe you turn five today. when you woke up grinning and leaped into my lap for the first "five year old kiss," i knew you were going to have an awesome day. you've given your daddy and me five years of awesome days, kiddo. you've challenged us, made us laugh, helped us be better people, and shown us the world through your brilliant creative eyes. you are so like me. sometimes that makes us mad at each other. sometimes we even yell. but i always know in my heart that we'll fight through it together and hug and take care of each other. we're a problem solving family, and you're an excellent little problem solver. you are so like your daddy. you are determined and persistent and funny. you liven our house with your laugh and your smile and your rambunctious running and climbing and jumping and never-standing-still. you are unlike any child i have ever known. you...

my little shaded studs we've been on a wild ride with my john the past year or so - he's an amazingly sweet, remarkable, mannerly, kind little boy, but there's a switch inside him that flips when he gets frustrated or overwhelmed, and he just can't process his big feelings. the result is some really disruptive behavior that's been a challenge for him to control. there've been good weeks and bad weeks, and after a particularly tough spell recently we decided to seek professional help. john had his first therapy session today, and he loved it and they seem to think we'll be able to help him find some coping mechanisms to learn how to control his emotional outbursts and process big feelings in a more productive way. i'm excited for him, that he will be a little more prepared by the time we start kindergarten in the fall. in the meantime, his little brain is unbelievable.  on the way to therapy today, i asked him how he met his "different...

swimming monkeys. i used to write. i wrote to document, for catharsis, to explore, to share. i wrote to remember. and then i stopped. today is just another day. but today, i am writing. this morning, charlie woke up chipper and silly. he made animal noises at me in his crib before he would let me get him up. he hid behind his blankie and giggled when i asked where he went. he snuggled me tight and shared his blankie with me when i picked him up. that is why i write. and in the car on the way to school, charlie sang a song about the sun. "sun sun sun sun sun" he sang. and then it was john's turn, and john sang a song about how when we see the sun, we know that god is here. god makes the sun rise and the sun set and we can see his face. that is why i write. and right now i am taking a brief break from my new work-from-home job, where i am crafting strategy and devising plans, and learning and pushing and growing. i feel a veil lifting as my creat...