john's mom works

charlie in his gymnastics suit dear charlie, when we met on an ambulance on the highway four years ago today, it became clear right away that you are your own little dude. you have personality and charm and determination and yes, stubbornness, enough for a classroom of children. your clever little brain is always searching to understand and make use of the world around you. now that you are four, you are so big. you are so capable and so strong. but you still flash the "i love you" sign through your classroom window, and oh but you melt my heart. you have been so graceful at moving from littlest to "middlest" brother, and asking for extra time and love when you need it, but sharing your space and life with little bean and big brother john. you amaze me every day with how you communicate and use your words. and your songs are the best, bitty. never stop writing and singing your own songs. i hope you never stop climbing into my lap to snuggl...

dear bean, when your daddy and i found out we were going to have another baby, we were pretty scared. we didn't know how to be parents to three chaos monkeys and didn't know what our family would look like with a new babe. it turns out we didn't have a thing to worry about, little one. from the moment you arrived you've been the happiest baby i've ever met. just like your brothers, you charm the people around you and endear yourself to everyone. when we came home from the birth center that night, john and charlie fell in love and immediately wanted to hold you and love you. you fit perfectly into a bean-shaped gap we didn't even know our family had. you've brought smiles and laughs to every member of your family every one of these past 365 days. even when you feel icky, like today on your birthday, your dear spirit shines through and you bring such light into the world. your daddy and i  are really grateful that god knew we needed you. your oldest...

goodnight selfie dear john, i just finished putting you to bed for the last time as a six year old. you thought it was great to give me the last ever "face shake" (our secret goodnight kisses) as a six year old boy. i thought it was pretty great, too. you have grown SO MUCH this year. not just gotten taller - though you have, you're huge - but gotten better and awesomer and amazinger. you are in control of your body and your actions in a way that is so very impressive. you work so hard to do things well, and take such pride in making people happy. you are generous, and compassionate, and you amaze me with your capacity to give to your little brothers to help them be happy. you are silly and fun and have a wicked sense of humor - even if i'm sometimes too old to get some of your jokes. you're a fierce hugger and a brave tooth-loser. one thing that makes me so proud is that you want so badly for things to be fair and right. they aren't always, ...

my pumpkins in the pumpkin patch i started writing this post in october. that's why there are pumpkins. that's why bean is small. that's why charlie looks like ... i don't know, a pound puppy or something with his shaggy hair in his eyes. that i started this post five months ago and it remains largely unwritten - that there is also an unfinished post on a belated birth story for ben ... it is indicative of where our family is these days. we are happy - look at those beautiful boys in a pumpkin patch! we are grateful - we have so many blessings to count and recount and positively bathe in. we are together - there are so many of us! ok, there are only five of us. but that is a lot when two are loud blustery beautiful big boys and one is a sweet busy baby boy. oh, yeah, and technically we're six, with the world's orneriest dog. we are also certifiably insane. and by that i mean, everyone else is fine and i am crazy. * * * before we found out ben...