john's mom works

the truck john's toy of choice this morning was his dump truck. he rode it in circles around the house. he pushed it back and forth between the kitchen and the living room. he ran over the dog with it. he made periodic pauses to say hi to nana (NEEna!) who's visiting this week, or to mama. but then he kept right on trucking along. i did capture him for just the briefest of moments, to snap this little pic: mama's little imp and then he was off again - playing ring around the rosy in the living room, running to the door saying "bye bye, mommy" and grabbing his red bucket like a purse. i know all grownups say this about all kids, but it's true: if we could bottle just a fraction of that verve, that energy, and that gogogo, we could power the whole world in perpetuity. it makes me tired to see ... but it sure is fun to watch!

i've been thinking about john's birth a lot lately. about what an amazing experience it was for me, and how i wouldn't change a thing about it. then another blogger ( c. jane kendrick , of course) shared the story of her own birth, as shared by her mother. and it made me realize, i never fully recorded the story of john's birth. so, if you're not into birth stories, you can skip this post and i won't be sad. this one is really for me, and one day, for john. but if you enjoy a good birth story (as i do), i am happy to share with you as well. *** part i: before it was real when i found out i was pregnant, i sort of kind of maybe felt like i might want to have a natural childbirth, if at all possible. it sounded like a great idea. but anytime i talked about that - or even thought about it - i added this caveat: "but i've never done this before, so i guess we'll see!" then i went to a seminar about non-medicinal labor pain control, and it ...

reading the mail. and emptying the recycling bin. but mostly reading the mail. this may come as a surprise (insert eyeroll here), but i am a very verbal person. i talk too much. i probably write to much. but i'm also fascinated by words and language. even other languages. but that's a story for another day. perhaps that general linguistic fixation is why john's vocabulary development is so amazing for me to watch. every day, he has a new word he's playing with. every day, there is something else funny that he's running around the house saying. we've been working on manners a lot lately. instead of "MORE!" we say "more juice please." instead of "NO!" we're working on "no, ma'am." when someone gives john something, he says "thank you." (sometimes.) and this morning when daddy sneezed, he said "bless you!" (and then fake sneezed and blessed himself.) so i thought i'd list a few more of ...

yesterday felt more like monday than monday did. john woke up unhappy. he didn't want anything i offered him, didn't want juice, didn't want cars, didn't want to walk, didn't want to be carried, didn't want a new diaper, didn't want the wet diaper he was in. certainly it's not his fault - i think we all have those days. but as a mama - and especially as a mama with a limited time before we have to rush off to school and work - it is so difficult. all i wanted in the world was to make him happy ... but nothing did. no amount of me saying, "use your words, baby, and we'll get what you need" seemed to work - it was all no, no, no, and uh-uh. he finally calmed a little (after one tantrum that left him laying on the kitchen floor yelling "no" at the top of his lungs while my husband and i went back to our room to get ready for work). so i picked him up off the floor, snuggled him close and told him i loved him. and we walked back t...

i know i'm biased ... but if you didn't just die of cute at least a LITTLE bit you might want to get your cute-o-meter checked ... this was a very full weekend for our family. of course the big kickoff was sesame street live: elmo makes music on saturday morning. i knew john would be excited to see all the characters, my only concern was that the show came right around john's naptime and i hoped he wouldn't be a total grumpasaurus. and lo and behold, he wasn't! he had a wonderful time playing with his friend hope at the river center before the show, and once we got inside he was utterly transfixed to see his sesame street friends dancing and singing up on stage. the light show had him literally oohing and ahhing, and he danced on his seat and counted along with the characters onstage. he was very excited to see bert (apparently bert is becoming one of his favorite characters). it was truly an awesome experience. (a little side note to my high school friends ...

have i used this pic before? this is how i felt last night. when i got home from work last night, buddy was out of his kennel.  back about nine months ago, he broke out of and destroyed not one but two wire kennels. so we switched to the plastic travel-style kennel, and he's been great ever since then. until now. i'm pretty sure it was the thunderstorms we've had lately that spooked him, but now that he's figured out how to get out, there's no keeping him in - even when he's not freaked. my husband was at a meeting until late last night, and between being awake since 3:30am (see yesterday's blog) and finding the dog out of his kennel and being afraid to leave the dog in the house alone while i went for a run with john, i pretty much had a meltdown. i believe my text to my husband said, "i am not ok. please call me." while i waited for him to call me back, i decided i was going for a run with buddy AND john. no, i've never successfully d...

luckily for buddy, this is NOT his strangled body after he woke us up at 3:30am due to storm anxiety. when you have an infant, you sort of expect sleep to be in short supply. we got pretty lucky with john, who slept early and well, and with the exceptions of some spotty issues here and there we've slept pretty well in our house since he was born. in fact, more sleep disruption probably happens in our house because of one culprit: buddy the dog. he's a great dog, don't get me wrong. and he's come a LOOOOOOONG way since he came to live with us around a year ago. but he is still utterly neurotic and nuts. he is afraid of his own shadow. he's afraid of loud noises. he's afraid of my husband about 25% of the time, strange men about 99% of the time (that 1% is my cousin ben, who buddy oddly loves).  he doesn't pee when he's scared anymore. which is good - i spend MUCH less time mopping up dog pee. but he does freak out at thunderstorms. and if you liv...

yesterday as i packed up my breakfast and lunch to take with me (it's easier to eat on the road some mornings), i grabbed two little bran muffins that we make for portable breakfasts and put them in a tupperware. around the corner comes john, screaming: "my cupcake!" i didn't even KNOW he could say cupcake! i didn't even KNOW he knew what a cupcake was!  i suppose it makes sense - he's around other kids all day, and he's watching sesame street and dora and thomas and who knows what else. but it still boggles my mind when he comes up with something like that. and i must confess that there is a drop of bittersweetness to it - what other things did i miss, besides john learning to say cupcake?! i sometimes wish i could be with him all the time, so i could witness every little step, every little growth, every little development. but there is a bonus to being a working mom who's NOT there every second: the little sweet surprises, like a torpedo-sp...

john's favorite perscription from the doctor EVER: run around in the backyard with no pants on. yesterday turned out to be a pretty chaotic day, and one of those days when i am very thankful to have such a flexible workplace. around 10am, i got a call from the daycare asking if i'd had john's diaper rash checked out by the doctor, and that if i hadn't i needed to come get him and he couldn't come back without a doctor's note that it wasn't something worse than diaper rash and contagious. so i called the doc, got an 11:20am appointment, and high-tailed to the school to get john, then to the doctor's office to get his poor little booty examined. come to find out, the daycare was right on one account - it is worse than normal diaper rash, but it's not contagious. the solution? jock itch ointment - and per the doctor's orders, generic is fine. the only problem? the generic is called "JOCK ITCH CREAM" in giant capital letters, wit...

 who needs a stinkin' leprochaun? sometimes i see those beautiful "stair-step" families - you know, the ones where each child is precisely a head taller than the next child, each is more beautiful than the next, and you know that there's not more than two years between any two of them. when we lived in phoenix we saw them all the time, probably because of the large mormom population in that part of the country. (i'm not stereotyping there - there is a tenet of the faith of the church of jesus christ of latter day saints that encourages large families. i'm no religious scholar so i won't attempt to discuss the dogmatic specifics.) when i saw those families in the past, i had two thoughts: 1) how beautiful and 2) how on earth does that mama do it? and maybe a third one, 3) why on earth does that mama do it? but now that john's pretty officially out of the baby phase, i can understand it. i miss having a baby. don't get me wrong: i would n...

i'm not sure what i expected when i became a mom. i knew i was excited about it, i even knew it would be great. but i didn't anticipate what my favorite part would be: watching john change from a helpless baby to a real live human being with his own preferences and tendencies and opinions and drives. some may say that at 21 months he doesn't have all that yet, but i submit that they've probably never spent time around a 21-month-old. exhibit a - a trip to the park: at the park. at the end of our neighborhood is a great little park. there are probably seven slides, multiple swings of different sizes, sand to play in, ladders to climb. when i ask john if he wants to go to the park, he says "whee?" (his word for slide.) and yet, when we got to the park, all john wanted to do was run in the grass. forget the playsets. forget the sand and the other kids. sprinting back and forth in the grass was where it was AT, man. to each his own ... exhibit b - morning ...

please, mom, no pictures! the flash ... oh, the flash! one day, i hope john will thank me for sticking my camera in his face and trying to document his cuteness. for some reason, the way he looked sitting in the backseat of the car with i got to daycare this morning just made me want to capture him ... unfortunately, 6:30 a.m. with no light and the bright bright flash on my iphone didn't cooperate. the flash-free version, which is mirky but lets you see what i was going for: juice in hand, 'cuz that's how i roll. i think i have identified the one universal subject that moms seem to agree on: our own inadequacy. our own not-good-enough-ness when it comes to raising our children. no matter what we're really good at as mamas, we're painfully aware of the things we "fall short" on. we loudly lament our shortfallings. we don't do enough of this, or we do too much of that. we're too concerned about one thing, but we neglect another. we give t...

when i work out in the morning, i shower and get ready for work at the gym. my gym has awesome facilities, complete with hairdryers and the like; all i need to bring with me are my toiletries, my clothes and my towels. now, i don't bring my big luxurious wonderful bath towels to the gym of course. that would be foolish. fortunately we have a motley collection of towels accumulated over the years: that one i bought for my first college apartment, that one we inhereted from friends when they moved, that one i accidentally stole from my dad's house one christmas, that one we bought after that crazy backpacking trip where we had to ford the raging stream ... they're all different colors and sizes and no two are the same. the past week or so, i've found myself thinking each morning at the gym, "oh, i'm glad i got one of the bigger ones that will actually wrap the whole way around my body for the walk back to the locker room." (you know you've tried to w...

remember this lil fella? right at nine months ago, john was taking his first steps. he started walking (per my pictures) on july 9, 2011, which makes it nine months and four days ago. this pic is a freeze frame from one of the videos of that first day on his feet. i remember that like it was yesterday. he wasted no time: he stood up and walked eight steps the first time. we ran outside to show daddy, who was working in the yard. six more steps on the back porch. back inside, and within the hour he was walking the whole way across the house. you know how some kids spend a few weeks making that transition from a few steps to actually walking? yeah, not this guy. he might have waited to 12.5 months to start, but when he started there was no holding him back. and when i look at that picture, he looks so little and skinny. when i picked him up this morning out of his bed, he did NOT look little and skinny. he felt substantial and solid and big-boy-ish. he clung to my neck sweetly and...

'bout sums it up. one great thing about working out: my brain doesn't want to focus on what my body is doing, so i get some great contemplating time. this morning i contemplated excuses. and reasons. and whether there is a difference between the two. and if so, what it is. see, there are lots of reasons i sorta fell off of the gym bandwagon. in early february, i was there every single day. that's not a sustainable pace for me, and i know it, but i hoped that when it "died down" it would be 3-4 times a week. and then john got sick, and i missed a few days. and then i went a few times. and then it was mardi gras and i missed a few days. and then i went a few times. and then ... who knows. some reason. or is it a reason? we've been watching "the biggest loser" this season, and their theme is "no excuses." so what is the fine line between reason and excuse? i think it's legitimate that when i have to stay home sick with my son, my gym...

there is no caption that can live up to the cuteness of this picture. but maybe i'm biased. i don't usually have to work on saturdays, but today is an exception - we have not one but two events going on at the mall today, so i have to be here to play gracious hostess and make sure all runs as planned. (they are low-key and relatively easy events, which is why i popped into the office to check email and post this blog.) since i had to work, i knew today wasn't a sleeping-in day. so i wasn't dismayed to hear a little voice talking to himself at around 645 - it was time to get up anyway. i went and got the little voice, and as soon as i walked into the room he said, "mommy! juice?" so we took the juice and layed back in bed with daddy, and john happily drank juice while mommy and daddy snoozed. and that juice must have REALLY hit the spot, because as soon as the last drop left the sippy cup, john sat bolt up right and raring to go! he climbed the bed. he ...

at first glance: a moment of heaven over breakfast my husband left for work a little earlier than usual this morning, and my little bug must have been sleepy, because by the time i was out of the shower, dressed, and blow-dried, he was still snoozing away. with a sigh of contentment, i listened to the silence of the house. silence, that rare gem. i'm not complaining - i love the hubbub of a full, loving house. but still, as i poured my soy milk over my generic honey nut cheerios (already placed in a bowl courtesy of my awesome husband) and grabbed my book, i thought, "this is heaven." and for a few minutes, it really was. i didn't have to share my cereal. i didn't have to talk, or listen. i didn't have to pour more juice, or wipe banana off my work pants. i didn't have to tell john not to give his juice to the dog or to his stuffed tiger. i could just ... read. and eat. and sit. in silence. amazing. but after a moment, i realized i was wishing john w...

just so you know, that video is completely unrelated to my blog post for today. but somehow it seemed naked without some direct john-content (johntent?) so i added a little hoop-action for your viewing pleasure. if you were wondering, he's saying "hoop hoop hoop" over and over again. the creep but what i am thinking about is the creep. not some unsavory individual, but rather the slow descent into disorder that overcomes my home. the onset of clutter, the encroachment of entropy. the inevitable downward spiral of disarray. it starts so well-meaningly. on sunday, we did the dishes. every single one. we hand-washed the un-dishwasher-able ones. we scrubbed, we ran two loads in the dishwasher (because you know, it backs up. by the time you run it, there's a full load stacked in the sink). we dried every item, and put it carefully away when it belongs - because lo and behold, even clean dishes create clutter when you leave them out on the counter to dry. and the count...

sweet. it was a full weekend. we jam-packed nearly every minute of both days full of fun and love and family. saturday morning was a day date with my hubby - we saw 'act of valor' in the movie theater. i can't remember the last time we went to a theater - it was a blast! the movie was amazing - you should definitely check it out. after the movie was our lunch date - also wonderful. thank you, husband, for a wonderful morning. john stayed with auntie and uncle while we went on our date, and boy did he work hard! while uncle vacuumed, john followed him around the house with a dry mop, dusting behind him. john also helped auntie with laundry, played with the dogs, and attempted to help uncle with blowing off the driveway - but he didn't like the blower. needless to say, it was a full day, and that picture above is what we found when we went to pick him up. saturday evening was family time at the house. sunday morning we got up for church and sunday school, then ho...

i'll just rest here 'til mommy finishes showering. john has been in rare form. he played, talked, and ran after daycare yesterday, telling us all about his day. at dinner he ate more green beans than i've ever seen a kid eat. and he kept asking for more! he happily took a bath and brushed his teeth with no complaints. we said goodnight to daddy and went back to his bedroom. normally i sing to john before he goes to bed - we sing the alphabet song, or one of the lullabyes i've written for him. but tonight, he decided to sing to me! so he sat in my lap and looked at me and danced while he sang his own little tune. i called my husband in and john just kept dancing and singing. i wish i could have taped it - it was the best. i am grinning now just thinking of it. then this morning, john started to wake right as i was getting ready to get in the shower. (isn't that always the way? we have terrible timing!) so daddy went to get the bug up, and i got in the shower. th...

tigers vs. vols: the battle for john's loyalty i love college basketball. like, LOVE college basketball. i don't follow it, per se, because frankly i don't have time. but if the opportunity arises to watch some ncaa hoops, i'm all for it. of course my true love is maryland terrapins ball. i'm old school - i've never been to a game in the comcast center at maryland, but i rarely missed a cole fieldhouse showdown when i was there. last night, john got his first taste of college bball! we went with auntie and uncle to watch the tennessee vols play at lsu. and therein lies the division. i may not have grown up in louisiana, but i for-sure grew up cheering for the tigers. my dad is from here, and all of his family, so we are pretty ardent purple-and-gold. and my husband has really adopted the tigers, too, and we're pretty avid tigers fans at our house. except. john's dad went to tennessee. and he wanted to dress john in orange for the game. i, of c...