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night/day

yesterday felt more like monday than monday did.

john woke up unhappy. he didn't want anything i offered him, didn't want juice, didn't want cars, didn't want to walk, didn't want to be carried, didn't want a new diaper, didn't want the wet diaper he was in. certainly it's not his fault - i think we all have those days. but as a mama - and especially as a mama with a limited time before we have to rush off to school and work - it is so difficult. all i wanted in the world was to make him happy ... but nothing did. no amount of me saying, "use your words, baby, and we'll get what you need" seemed to work - it was all no, no, no, and uh-uh.

he finally calmed a little (after one tantrum that left him laying on the kitchen floor yelling "no" at the top of his lungs while my husband and i went back to our room to get ready for work). so i picked him up off the floor, snuggled him close and told him i loved him. and we walked back to his room to get him dressed. but then on the way, he threw himself backwards in my arms and knocked the heck out of his head on the wall. so as he screamed "head ouch! mama! head ouch!" and cried at the top of his lungs, i tried to soothe him again and get him clothed and ready to go.

when we got to school, he insisted on being carried into the building. he finally walked when we were on our way into his room, and he even sat down at the table so he could have breakfast. but as soon as the teacher put a plate in front of him, he pushed back from the table and walked away.

you KNOW something's wrong when my little pig rejects his food.

i thought all day that i was going to hear from the daycare that john was sick and needed to go home. but somehow he made it through the day, and last night it was clear that he is fine, physically ... but he was extremely needy and clingy all night long.

poor child. i think he is so frustrated that he can't fully communicate what he wants to say to mommy and daddy.

***

but he must have slept well last night, because the silly bug that woke up this morning and said "no ma'am!" when i asked him if he wanted to get out of bed and said "uh-uh" with a grin when i asked if mommy could get up and go potty. and ran around the house happily playing with his cars. and asked very nicely for more juice ("more juice pease!"). it was like he was a completely different child!

and of course, i love him either way, and of course, we'll keep trying to understand each other so that when he's sad/hurt/angry/unhappy he can tell us what he needs. but i won't lie ...

when he grinned and said "mommy!!!!" this morning, i breathed a sigh of relief.

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