it's here.

i thought i was taking a video, which woud
have been much funnier than this static
butt hanging out of a suitcase.

a brief note on the pic above: john's daddy and i have still not put the suitcases away from our trip. they're emptied, just not put away. so john has taken to hiding inside of daddy's suitcase. i know, i know -- suffocation hazards, could get stuck, bad idea, etc. but DANG it's hysterical. he sits still in there (it's not zipped) for about three seconds, during which time you can't see any sign of him. then he pops out and yells, grinning, "here i am!" 

these sorts of bright cheerful moments are especially precious to me right now, because it seems we have finally hit that doldrums that is the "terrible twos." 

john's always known how to throw a decent fit - but they were infrequent, and passed quickly. these latest ones, though, are doozies. and this morning, he said something that cut me to the core, as silly as that may sound.

i had just come back from a disgusting run in the 47 degree rain. i was sweaty and yukky and laying on the floor when he flipped his lid. so i went over and sat next to him and asked him, "baby, what do you need? what's wrong?"

and he stopped screaming long enough to say: "go away, mommy. leave me alone. i don't need you."

i kept my cool and told him that those were mean words that made mama sad, and that he shouldn't talk to people like that. then i went to the other room and cried.

i know that's somewhat ridiculous. i know that, at two, he doesn't understand the impact of those words. i know that he meant, "i don't need you to do anything right now so please give me some space." i know that he will say worse to me in his lifetime.

but i'm not going to lie: it still hurt.

here's to the terrible twos. (or two-and-seven-months. but whatever.)

now go away.