dreaming

freshly awakened and not quite awake.

last night i didn't sleep so hot. i had a hard time falling asleep, and when i did finally doze off i had one of the most intense and vivid dreams i've ever had -- and not a good one. pretty terrible, actually.

right as my dream reached an apex of horribleness (it involved another person there having her palms burned off with acid), i was wakened by john crying in his room.

now, john doesn't cry out in the night too much these days. and since i was already awake with my heart racing, i decided i would go check on him.

i poked my head into his room, calling his name quietly. he sat up in his bed and held his arms up in the universal toddler language that says "hold me mommy."

i said, "oh, john, did you have a dream?"

and he said, "tell that doggie to stop taking my food! no, doggie. don't take my food."

and i was struck by the sweetness of an innocent mind that is terribly upset by a nightmare in which a dog is taking your snack. so we snuggled in john's chair for a few minutes as i absorbed his sweetness and light, and acid-burned hands drifted out of my mind, lulled to rest by the easy breath of a beautiful creature.

then i tucked him in, made it back to my bed, and slept like a baby the rest of the night.