in june 2010, our lives got turned upside down in the best possible way: the birth of our awesome kiddo, john. in october 2013, brother charlie charged into our life to change the status quo again. and june 2016 brought us brother ben to round out our trio.

i'm proud to have "mom" at the top of the list of titles on my resume, but i'm also still a hard-working professional. how does a working mom juggle work and family? ride along with me and see if i can figure it out!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

oh, hair

john getting himself ready for school.
is it vain or shallow for me to be sad that i had to undo my purple hair last night? i'm struggling a little bit with why i care so much. (yesterday i was informed that company policy forbids non-natural colored hair. that's not how i read the policy - i checked before the dye job - but of course i am not going to fight it and so i dyed it brownish reddish something or other last night.)

it shouldn't matter to me what color my hair is. i know who i am in my heart. i know that i am a little bit rockstar, even if i don't have rockstar color in my hair. (and john knows it too - i asked him if mommy was still rockstar and he said YES!) heck, it doesn't matter if i have hair at all - i have shaved it all off before and still felt beautiful and feminine.

and it's not as though my hair looks awful now - it's just much more normal. 

i think i just feel sad because i was so excited about this particular self-expression. the timing of it seemed so right with all that is going on in my internal world right now. and i felt so affirmed by most of the reactions i was receiving from people - they were GETTING it, understanding my "message." 

so, my challenge for myself: find other outlets for that particular self-expression. don't let this make me sad; instead, transform it into a new inspiration to be slightly off-the-wall, a little off-center, and a lot myself. 

here's to hoping. and one day, john, ONE DAY - your mama will get to have her blue hair for more than a day or two. just for principle.

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