what a difference a day makes

chipper little fellow.

when i got john out of bed this morning, i asked him if he would hold me for a minute. he said, "but i awake, mommy!" i said, "yes, baby, but mommy just wants to sit in this chair and snuggle for a sec, even though we're awake, is that ok?" and he snuggled up on me and said he loved me. and i knew, right then and there, that thursday would be a better day.

and better it was. first of all, john was in a reasonably good mood in the morning, which is not a given with our not-a-morning-person family. he was a little grumpy to daddy but they made up before daddy had to head to work.

then our ride to school was full of singing songs and talking about what he would do that day (intermixed with requests that ms. meka give him a poptart when he arrives at school). he plonked down for his breakfast with a smile and a goodbye kiss and mama was off to the doctor.

i was oddly nervous going to the doctor - there was no reason to believe anything was wrong, but i guess it's the lingering artifact of the miscarriage that i feel a little short of breath and overwhelmed when i am walking up to the building.

fortunately, though, the news was all good - the baby's heartbeat sounds great, my blood pressure and weight and all that jazz are "perfect," and all is well.

i talked a little bit with the doc about the antibody stuff, and she was very reassuring -- they'll just monitor me closely, it's good that we know this early so we can be on the lookout, and the specialist i'm seeing is THE best when it comes to intrauterine transfusions, so if it reaches that point we're in the best possible hands.

but the most important part came when i said that i knew there was a likelihood that if there were complications, they might want to induce pretty early. my doctor nodded understandingly, and said, "yes, and that's pretty problematic for us." 

what she meant, of course, is that given my goals of natural childbirth and no epidural or medical pain mediation, that's problematic for me. but she didn't say for me. she said for "us." which just reminded me of why i adore my doctor so much. i've never been so convinced that a doctor was so looking out for my own interests, and willing to do her very best to see that i have as close to my ideal delivery as we can medically do. what a blessing she is to me. i assured her that if she felt there was a medical need i wouldn't fight her on interventions, but that my hope would be to lean towards observation -- that i'd come in every day if i needed to! -- and she said we were absolutely on the same page.

so today i was reminded that i have a cheerful kiddo, a wonderful hardworking husband, a healthy baby, an awesomely supportive doctor, and some wonderful friends and family who reached out to me, too. and then i came home and spent 8,000 hours applying for 8,000 jobs and dangit, just one of those is going to wind up working out for me, too.

i'm a lucky lady ... and much happier than i was yesterday. thanks for all the love!!