this blog is not about my kids (gasp!). or, not exactly, though they are such a force that it seems everything in my universe is colored by my experiences with them.
it's about how we're all so tired. more precisely, it's about how we keep talking about how we're all so tired.
in the past several days i've seen a number of articles cross my feed on the topic of "why millennials are so tired," (almost ignored that one as i don't identify as a millennial) or "the fetishization of tiredness" or "the cult of exhaustion" ... i'm not linking any of them, as i haven't found the articles themselves to be particularly interesting or insightful. but it did make me stop and think about how true this is about my life, and probably yours.
someone asks how you are, and you say, "i'm good, but i'm exhausted." you hear someone with "less" on their plate than you say they're tired, and you think (and maybe even say - but please shut your mouth), "you think YOU'VE got it bad? you don't even KNOW tired."
and it's true, all of it. i'm fucking tired. you're fucking tired. we do too much with too little, we don't care for ourselves, we don't sleep enough and we don't do sleep right. we don't feed our bodies right, we don't work our bodies enough. we live in a political culture that is divisive and a news culture that is always on, always disastrous, and always in your face. we're tired.
but we're also a lot of other things. right now, how are you? me, i'm kinda excited about a project i'm about to wrap up, super relieved that i got the kids to daycare without yelling at them, a little anxious about an uptick in undesirable behaviors in john, really looking forward to my trip to maryland at the end of next week, and hungry because i haven't eaten my breakfast yet and am not in love with any of my current options. i'm probably a bunch of other stuff too.
so why, why oh why, if you asked me how i am, would i wear my exhaustion as a badge of honor and say, "man, i'm tired?"
i have a proposal. let's take it on faith that we are all tired. therefore, it is no longer news. the next time you find yourself about to tell someone you're tired, tell them something else you are instead. i suspect it will make for a much more interesting and connecting conversation -- even if you stick with small talk and don't go deep.
"hey, man, how are you?" someone might say.
and you might say, "you know, i'm totally bummed about how [insert recently binged tv show] ended, so i'm rewriting it in my brain. how 'bout you?"
and they might say, "oh, i haven't watched that -- was it good?"
and then you'll have a conversation.
instead of ...
"hey, man, how are you?"
"you know, i'm so tired."
"oh, me too."
the end.
booooooooorrrrrrring.
i'm tired of telling you i'm tired, and tired of you telling me you're tired*, and tired of hearing about everybody's tiredness as if it was the defining characteristic of their existence. (guilty as charged.)
* if you have some extenuating circumstance where your tiredness really IS a defining characteristic (including but not limited to a newborn, big disruptive life change, invasive medical treatment, etc) by all means tell me. but if you're tired because life ... maybe be a little more interesting. i promise i will try as well.
it's about how we're all so tired. more precisely, it's about how we keep talking about how we're all so tired.
in the past several days i've seen a number of articles cross my feed on the topic of "why millennials are so tired," (almost ignored that one as i don't identify as a millennial) or "the fetishization of tiredness" or "the cult of exhaustion" ... i'm not linking any of them, as i haven't found the articles themselves to be particularly interesting or insightful. but it did make me stop and think about how true this is about my life, and probably yours.
someone asks how you are, and you say, "i'm good, but i'm exhausted." you hear someone with "less" on their plate than you say they're tired, and you think (and maybe even say - but please shut your mouth), "you think YOU'VE got it bad? you don't even KNOW tired."
and it's true, all of it. i'm fucking tired. you're fucking tired. we do too much with too little, we don't care for ourselves, we don't sleep enough and we don't do sleep right. we don't feed our bodies right, we don't work our bodies enough. we live in a political culture that is divisive and a news culture that is always on, always disastrous, and always in your face. we're tired.
but we're also a lot of other things. right now, how are you? me, i'm kinda excited about a project i'm about to wrap up, super relieved that i got the kids to daycare without yelling at them, a little anxious about an uptick in undesirable behaviors in john, really looking forward to my trip to maryland at the end of next week, and hungry because i haven't eaten my breakfast yet and am not in love with any of my current options. i'm probably a bunch of other stuff too.
so why, why oh why, if you asked me how i am, would i wear my exhaustion as a badge of honor and say, "man, i'm tired?"
i have a proposal. let's take it on faith that we are all tired. therefore, it is no longer news. the next time you find yourself about to tell someone you're tired, tell them something else you are instead. i suspect it will make for a much more interesting and connecting conversation -- even if you stick with small talk and don't go deep.
"hey, man, how are you?" someone might say.
and you might say, "you know, i'm totally bummed about how [insert recently binged tv show] ended, so i'm rewriting it in my brain. how 'bout you?"
and they might say, "oh, i haven't watched that -- was it good?"
and then you'll have a conversation.
instead of ...
"hey, man, how are you?"
"you know, i'm so tired."
"oh, me too."
the end.
booooooooorrrrrrring.
i'm tired of telling you i'm tired, and tired of you telling me you're tired*, and tired of hearing about everybody's tiredness as if it was the defining characteristic of their existence. (guilty as charged.)
* if you have some extenuating circumstance where your tiredness really IS a defining characteristic (including but not limited to a newborn, big disruptive life change, invasive medical treatment, etc) by all means tell me. but if you're tired because life ... maybe be a little more interesting. i promise i will try as well.
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