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sibling dynamics

a little backyard chaos and shenanigans
i will forever remember this summer as a time of shifting sibling dynamics.

john and charlie have always alternated between playing beautifully together and beating the snot out of each other -- pretty standard fare for brothers, from what i understand. they are each others' best friend and arch nemesis, rolled up into one jack-and-jill-bathroom-sharing package.

it's made for amazing times when they create and build and explore and entertain each other. it's made for challenging times when they get under each others' skin, antagonize and bully one another, and scream. man, can those kids scream.

when bean first arrived, of course, not much changed. if anything, the bigs got closer. they got good at occupying each other when the baby needed "too much" attention. the flare ups didn't stop, of course, but i wouldn't have expected them to.

but now at two, bean is a real person with real ideas and real imaginative play -- he runs around the house like john, making airplane noises and car noises and having a fine old time.

and slowly but surely this summer, he and charlie have become each others' ride or die. more and more often, it's the pair of them teamed up to hang together. it makes sense - at 2 and 4.5, they are a year closer in age than john and charlie.

at first, i was concerned john would feel left out -- but along with a mellowing and newfound focus and growing up, john has become more interested in big kid activities like reading and riding his bike (with no training wheels thank you very much) and playing with friends and swimming.

so the shift has begun, to john as big big brother and the two little guys as playmates and compadres. it is dear, and beautiful, and somehow bittersweet because it just means my babies aren't babies and they are growing.

every now and again, i feel a little sadness about this shift, because in my silly mommy mind i want all three of them to be best friends forever. i want them to have each others' backs and take care of each other and challenge each other to be amazing.

and just when i am worried, something like this happens:
an awful lot of boy in one bathtub

and as all three of my chaos monkeys wreak havoc together on my bathroom and fight about who got soap in the others' eyes, and they help each other rinse the soap out, and they discuss with amazement just how many bubbles are in the tub ... in those moments i know that whatever changing tides occur in their relationship, these brothers are going to be ok.

and maybe one day when they're 33, 30, and 28, they'll come back to my house and see if they can all smash into my bathtub for a crazy picture re-take. (ha!)

so i will just watch, and hold them close to me, and love them as their friendships change, and marvel at this burgeoning demonstration of brotherhood in this family i love.

the only time they will ever all be still: when we are
watching blaze and the monster machines


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