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(un)balanced.

the funny thing about balance is that it does not look like what you would expect.

here is my mental picture of balance: a beautiful, lithe girl, on tiptoes on a balance beam, perfectly poised as she is about to spring into her next leap or tumble or flip or pirouette. she is grace personified. she knows exactly where she is and where she's going.

for me, balance is so fluid. some days i feel i've got it. those days i'm superwoman: awesome wife, excellent mother, great marketer, decent housekeeper, generous giver, hard exerciser, active participant. other days ... i think i hit mediocre at best in each of those categories.

here is what balance winds up being like in my real life: a scrambling, well-padded woman, wearing workout shoes for support but a sport coat in case the media shows up, juggling knives while keeping her active child from grabbing them. she is quick-reflexes personified. she doesn't know what she's standing on or where her next step will take her, but damned if she's going to fall. she doesn't have time.

this is not my most "balanced" week, i don't think. my house is a disaster, i've hardly spent any time with my husband, and i feel like my time with john has largely been of the eat-bath-bed variety. i don't like that unbalanced feeling ... it feels like failure to me. i am not so fond of failure.

yet just in time comes the weekend, which will be very full but will allow me to center and breathe and get my feet planted under me again. maybe there's something to this whole weekend thing.

i will probably spend the rest of my life unsuccessfully striving to be that brilliant gymnast executing her flawless routine. but you know that knife-juggling woman with reflexes of steel? i'm ok if balance sometimes looks like her, too.

she's pretty badass.

question for you, dear reader: how do you feel about balance in your life. got any tricks of the trade this busy mama should learn? or any great stories of falls off of the balance beam that will make me laugh/cry/not feel so bad? do share!

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