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what you need

i'm not sure when this pic was taken,
but john's facial expression so eloquently
sums up how i was feeling this morning!
this morning was not the best morning ever. there's nothing really wrong, actually, it was just one of those mornings when i couldn't quite seem to get myself together and going. i did get up and get john to school and me to the gym before work, so that's good, but it's been over a week since i last did my workout routine so it HURT. it was HARD. yuk. (and i know, it's supposed to be hard or it's not working, but today it was emotionally hard, ok?)

and then i showered and got ready for work, and my clothes felt really frumpy and not nice. (and i know, it's because i've lost enough inches/pounds that they don't fit right, so that's a GOOD thing, but it's never a good thing to feel frumpy and unattractive for any reason. even if it's because you're on the path to health and sexiness.)

and then ... god, or the universe, or fate, or coincidence, or whatever you feel apt to call it, put someone on my path that gave me exactly what i needed.

there's a sweet, beautiful woman who works at my gym. she has the un-envyable job of cleaning up the locker room and bathroom after the morning rush. don't get me wrong, we aren't pigs, but enough gals running around getting ready for work etc mean felicia has her work cut out for her.

felicia is always so nice to me - she told me once she calls me "fancy feet" in her mind because of the shoes i wear. she works hard and goes about her business but always has a smile for you.

and today, while i was standing in the mirror thinking "woe is me, i'm frumptastic," felicia happened by and said, "you look beautiful today." (cue: john's mom falling to the floor.) i smiled at her, and told her honestly, "you have no idea how much i needed that just now. thank you so much!" she smiled and walked away.

but about a minute later, she walked timidly back to me, and she said: "i don't mean to get in your business, so forgive me. but i just wanted to tell you, i pray for you that your relationship with god is strong. something has been telling me for two days now that i needed to share that with you, and i am not sure why, but i wanted to tell you i'm praying for you."

and she didn't say it in a preachy way, so even if i was for some reason opposed to the idea of me having a strong relationship with god, i don't think it would have been offensive. instead, i felt ... oddly protected. and loved. by this relative stranger who i know nothing about, who likes my shoes.

so i'll say this about god: he sure does have a way of giving you just what you need.

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