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recovery

dr. john's prescription for mommy's recovery.
last night we dropped john off at P & R's house to play with their awesome kiddos, L & S. the kiddos are a little older than john, but their youngest (a boy) and john wound up being fast friends. they've played together before, but last night apparently john had crossed some developmental threshold that allowed them to truly play together, not just side by side. they would play in one room, discuss their plans, run into another room to "see how fast airplanes go in the kitchen!" then bounce back to the first room to do more planning. plus, we got serenaded by L's burgeoning piano skills and got to spend some awesome time with P & R who are wonderful friends to us. it definitely put me at ease leaving john in such caring hands, and knowing he'd have fun overnight and the next day.

we came home and ate the delicious dinner that other friend L had dropped off earlier in the day (if she ever makes barbecue sandwiches for you your in for a treat). and then my husband and i just sort of hung out for a while before going to bed to get up early.

4:30am came too early, and we were up and on our way to the hospital. i was extremely nervous, bordering on scared. but my amazing husband was an awesome support, kept my spirits high and made me laugh several times in the prep for the surgery. after the first shot in the hip ("this will make you sleepy ...") i don't remember a lot. which is probably good. i do recall being wheeled into the o.r., briefly seeing my doctor, adding something to my iv that made my arm hot and then ... the recovery room. they asked how i felt, i said i was sleepy, they rolled me into the day surgery room where my husband was waiting for me, they fed me some crackers and a coke, and then we packed up and headed home.

i've got to take a medicine that's supposedly going to make the pain a lot worse, but so far it hasn't been bad at all. i think i am blessed with a strong "female" system that handles this stuff well - even after i had john, the nurses kept offering me painkillers that i declined because i didn't need them. if i *do* need it, i have a heavy painkiller prescription to get me through. i'm basically just taking it easy with my awesome family today and i'll rest as much as i need this weekend.

on an emotional front, i actually feel really good. i think that i did a lot of the mourning early on in this process, and i've had three long weeks to work on making peace with the loss of this baby. i am certain there will be some other sad times ahead, but i don't feel waylayed by emotional pain like i was afraid i would. yes, there is some sadness, but i am also just really ready to work on healing - emotionally and physically - and letting our family move past the crazy limbo we've been in.

thank you SO much for loving us so very much. we are one CRAZY lucky, CRAZY blessed, CRAZY loved family. it's amazing to me the support system we have had (and continue to have) through this and all of our lives. we are forever appreciative and graced by the community around us - whether next door or geographically distant.
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